As I think about every one of those guys in my past and remember all the very nice moments, I feel this immense urge to say "I love you" to every one of them. It's a feeling that is so strong that nothing else would feel right. Except saying those words. It's that overwhelming!
I was thinking about Astle today. I have been thinking about him lately because of this nice e-mail exchanges we are having. I had cut off all communication with him and out of the blue he sent me the battle star galactica track- "Are you alive". And I am alive, of course and it started.
We are just talking very mundane stuff but I'm thrilled to bits already. I remember all the memories associated with him in tremendous detail. Sometimes I even miss the smell of his whiskey stained lips. I absolutely adore that memory of eating pizza naked on a lazy Sunday late morning. And now I want to say "I love you" to him.
Obviously I don't want anything back. I don't even want to say it so that he knows that I am saying it. It's just a strong impulse from within to express it. Even if it is only to myself :)
I know it is not serious and my life doesn't depend on it. Neither is the feeling such that it will make me pursue it. No.
But I love these momentary, fleeting, strong urges. It keeps me alive. And in a strange sense, curious.
This got me thinking if I don't think so highly of love! Since I keep wanting to say "I love you" to so many people.
Or perhaps I indeed love so many people!
No comments:
Post a Comment